Where are you going?
-
Well, that's a complicated question. It's only possible to tell you where I've been, and let you extrapolate my probable course.
-
Whatever mate. Where are you actually going?
-
Everywhere and nowhere. You should have put the fare clock on years ago. But I'm not paying you. You've done nothing.
-
Stop talking in riddles. I just want to know where to take you.
-
I bid that you take me to town - post haste. As we speak, the possibilities that await me there are exploding in an infinite number of permutations.
-
Do you always talk like this?
-
Sir, my practicable grasp of the lexicon is not your concern. Drive on.
-
I can't really afford to be taking you anywhere. I'm on the breadline. The constantly rising tax justified by ever increasing oil costs is making it impossible for me to do my job.
-
My empathy is palpable, however I am sitting in an enormous car with, no doubt, terrible fuel efficiency. Could it be that your miles per gallon and some level of bad financial planning on your part are beginning to own you?
-
Are you fucking taking the piss out of my car?
-
Your car is metallic purple. It is widely accepted that purple things are often ridiculous.
-
Listen mate, I am driving you to town, do I have to sit in my own car and take this abuse on it's behalf?
-
You don't have to do anything. Every responsibility in your life is synthetic and largely of your own creation. However as I am paying you and we are locked in a moving vehicle, your choices are few. You must either continue an improbable one line back-and-forth with me, we can sit in silence, or you can stop the car and I will continue to town without you and your financially crippling level of brake horsepower.
-
You have an answer for everything, don't you. Well, in your profound arrogance, I believe you have underestimated me.
-
Estimations are by nature imperfect, I couldn't possibly reach a satisfactory conclusion in this amount of time. Needless to say, I certainly haven't offered a critique of your choices in vocabulary or for that matter accused you of the casual racism so prevalent in your industry.
-
Are you calling me a racist, gay boy?
-
Homophobia a worthy addendum as predicted.
-
I guess someone like you didn't watch the match last night then, did you?
-
I didn't, however I was saddened to hear Derek Llambias' passioned rebuttal to Kevin Keegan's outburst - It seems the only news is financial these days. I also hear that Pardew is thinking of John Arne Riise to replace Enrique at the back. Quite coincidental, as Enrique is more than likely going to Liverpool, which provided Riise with his only stint in the Premier League.
-
I didn't expect you to know anything about football.
-
Surely it is you and your purple car who have now underestimated me?
-
I'm getting tired of this. You get into my cab, with all your stupid words - you insult me, and then expect me to drive you to town?
-
I expect nothing more than for you to drive me to town. Intelligent conversation is, clearly, at a higher premium.
-
For god's sake. I am perfectly capable of intelligent conversation, my career provides me alot of opportunities. However, I certainly don't feel the need to ram my intellectual superiority down your throat and have learned, through practice, to excercise brevity in conversation, which is far more than can be said for you, with your meaningless ideas contrived as half-hearted axioms.
-
How elegantly you dismiss our differences, when they are nought but errors in communication.
-
That will be £6.40, please mate.
-
Let's call it £7. I hear the government's fucking the cabbies over. Bastards.
No comments:
Post a Comment